Dealing with depression can be a distressing experience, and offering support to someone going through it requires extreme empathy, sensitivity, and careful communication. However, unintentionally saying the wrong things can further worsen their mental state.
In this blog, we’ll discuss 15 things you should never say to someone who is struggling with depression, along with alternative approaches to provide the support they need.
Things to avoid saying to someone in depression
“Just snap out of it”
Saying this is similar to telling someone with a broken leg to “just walk.” Depression is not a temporary sadness that can be overcome with a simple change of mindset. Instead, offer reassurance that you’re there for them and encourage them to seek professional help.
“You have nothing to be depressed about”
Implying that depression is temporary can invalidate their feelings and undermine their experiences. Instead, encourage them to seek professional help and offer your ongoing support.
“It’s all in your head”
Depression is a genuine medical condition with complex causes. Minimizing their struggles by dismissing it as insignificant can be hurtful. Show empathy and let them know you acknowledge their pain.
“You’re just being lazy”
Depression often leads to a lack of motivation and energy, making daily tasks overwhelming. Rather than labeling them as lazy, offer assistance or suggest seeking professional guidance.
“Cheer up”
Depression is not a matter of choice. Encouraging them to be happy oversimplifies their condition and makes them feel guilty or misunderstood. Instead, offer support and let them know you’re there to help.
“Have you tried yoga/meditation?”
While certain activities may alleviate depressive symptoms for some people, they are not universal solutions. Suggesting remedies like meditation without understanding their unique situation can be dismissive. Instead, ask if they have considered therapy or counseling.
“You’re just seeking attention”
Dismissive comments like this can be incredibly damaging and cause further emotional distress. Assuming someone’s depression is an attention-seeking behavior can further isolate and invalidate them. Offer your genuine support and remind them that their feelings are valid.
“Others have it worse”
This comment is frequently used to try to make a depressed person feel better, but it usually has the opposite effect. Comparing their struggles to others’ experiences invalidates their pain. Instead, let them know you recognize their pain is real, regardless of others’ circumstances.
“Why don’t you just be happy?”
When someone tells you that they are suffering from depression, it is critical that you do not question the authenticity of their condition. This expression implies that a person is choosing to endure sadness. Depression is not a choice or a matter of willpower. Instead, express empathy and encourage them to seek professional help.
“I know exactly how you feel”
While you may have experienced sadness, each individual’s journey with depression is unique. Instead, focus on actively listening and understanding their perspective.
“You should be grateful for what you have”
Depression is a serious mental disorder that, in part, stems from chemical imbalances in the brain. A person struggling with depression does not need motivational speech. Although gratitude can be beneficial, it is not a cure for depression. Acknowledge their feelings and offer support without downplaying their struggles.
“Just think positive thoughts”
Depression affects the way people think, making it challenging to simply ‘think positive.’ Encourage them to seek professional help for guidance.
“You’re bringing others down”
Guilt-tripping someone with depression can intensify their negative emotions. Instead, emphasize your willingness to provide support and understanding.
“It’s all your fault”
Blaming them for their depression not only lacks compassion but also perpetuates self-blame. Encourage self-care and offer resources for professional assistance.
“You’re being selfish”
Depression continues to make someone self-focused, but it is not a conscious choice. Labelling them as selfish can deepen their feelings of guilt and isolation. Instead, remind them that their well-being is important and offer support in finding appropriate treatment.
Closing thoughts
When interacting with someone experiencing depression, it is important to avoid stigmatising statements. During the depression, people undergo intense emotional suffering. The key is to express compassion and empathy and encourage them to seek professional help. If you know someone who is experiencing depression, show them that they are not alone, and you are by their side to help them.
